A common ultra-conservative argument is that we need to stop making things about race. Fine. Fair, but reading about immigrants who came here to make a better life for themselves will make you think about your ancestors, even if that makes you prouder of America. Some of my relatives have the same frustrating relationship with their elders. They admire them while still annoyed with their stodgy ways.
The four generations have a unique mix of pride and disgust for their heritage. I have had conversations with Cuban-Americans that had the same tone. If we recognize immigrants’ struggles in the 1920s, we better understand the attitudes that descend from that frustration and uncertainty. I was rooting for the men to find a way to communicate.
The book’s goal is optimistic, so I wondered how many situations like this were successful. Some of us embrace our inability to talk as a masculine quirk. This discord gives the author a challenging task: can the characters come to a resolution without tying up the strands too neatly? You know what I mean if you have ever tried to enact change in a relative over 70.
So, what have we learned? Listen. Family history has much to tell us, and elders do not always recognize which details are worth sharing. Almost every male has had this conflict with his father since previous men did not speak to their sons. Most are learning how now.